Daily Silly Status

Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.

I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.

I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"

My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.

Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.

To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning

If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.

Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?

I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.

I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.

It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up

Is food porn star a thing yet??

Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come

I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.

The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.