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Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?