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Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?...
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.