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One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”