Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
make little things count. teach midgets math.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Don`t pick on Aquaman! The crime rate underwater is pretty damn low the last time I checked.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.