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If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.