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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
I`m not saying I`m bilingual but if you shout at me in German I`ll probably do whatever you want
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
RIP to my hair dryer. It was the only thing to blow me for the last 10 years and never complain.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.