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I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.