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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
Some people should come with subtitles.