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If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
if you want me to go running with you, I´m going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
It needs more cowbell!!
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!