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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Little to no thought was put into this status.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.