Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
You know what’s funny? Lot’s of sh!t. Loosen up already.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.