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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.