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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
I don`t know who I feel more sorry for.. myself for never being able to find where I parked my car?.. or the poor bastards following me through the parking lot hoping to take my parking space...
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.