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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.