Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
The first sign of laziness:
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC