Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
I hate when the remote is way over there
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.