Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
Do you know who invented the Knock Knock joke? I don`t know either, but whoever did should get a no bell prize.
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
I sent off for some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over.