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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Me: You`re the prettiest girl I`ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you`re smart too, I like that.