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At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Just used the holiday card with your kid`s face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!