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If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
Three weeks without a signal typo!
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
At night I dump massive amounts of Legos on the floor in case anyone tries to rob my house bare footed.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.