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MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
is available for rebound sex.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.