Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!