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never be afraid to wipe twice
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO