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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
gua suka sama kamu