Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.