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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
I’m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.