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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
I just heard a woodpecker call me a `paranoid old weirdo` in morse code.
I said my wife`s name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet`s empty...