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Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That`s what they want you to think," say, "No, but that`s what they wanted you to tell me."
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.