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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)