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I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.