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Watching a funny movie after watching a scary one too try to reduce the risk of nightmares.
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.