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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Boss: Are you on drugs? Me: You and I both know I don`t make enough money to have a drug problem
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.