Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.