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At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.