Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Jake from State Farm works some very crappy hours.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.