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I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Squidward`s anger.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
My whole life is based on a true story...