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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.