Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.