Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He`s not ill, just really crappy in bed.
2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
What idiot called him Alexander Graham Bell instead of Lord of the Rings
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.