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For once Iād like to get kicked into a bar
There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
Iām that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
Money can`t buy happiness, but somehow it`s a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.