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WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: