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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
So much to do and so few alibis.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.