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According to my nipples, summer is over
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
You win some, you lose some, and if you`re lucky, you get some.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?