Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
I don’t just say crazy things on the internet, I do that in real life too.
Procrastination comes to those who wait.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Pregreening - creeping forward while waiting for a red light to change.
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.