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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I had this awesome dream last night where Facebook went down and most of you went on a killing spree.
The biggest lie I tell myself is: β€œI don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.