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People will do odd things to get even.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
Life is never more confusing than when three people get together to order one pizza.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.