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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.