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They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.