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I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.