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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.