Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
Life`s short ... Drink fast