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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!