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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.