Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...