Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
As long as I remind myself "The b!tch had it coming" is not a valid court defense, I`ll be ok
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?