Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!