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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...