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Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
I live in fear that one day the real "World`s Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
I feel like landlords who donโt allow dogs but DO allow children donโt know very much about children.