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Haters are my motivators(:
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.