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I had s*x with my friend`s wife last night and now I feel awful. She must have had the flu or something.
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
When I`m all out of alcohol...haha! Just kidding! I`d never let that scenario become a reality.
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.