Daily Silly Status

I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.

I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.

I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.

You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.

Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"

Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.

If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.

My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad

Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.

A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.

I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.

I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.

Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.

Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?

I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.