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"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.