Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page