Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous...Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet.
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
You know you can`t say "happiness" without saying "p*nis"
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)