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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
My top 5 exercises: -Jumping to conclusions -Flying off the handle -Carrying things too far -Dodging responsibilities -Pushing my luck
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Iβm too young to be too old for everything.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
To skip any youtube ad just change βyoutubeβ to βyoutubeskipβ in the url of any video. Youβre welcome.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"