Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.