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I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science