Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.