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If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Being an American is awesome. The end.