Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy people don`t take long showers.
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the “I’m sick” voice.
"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
After a certain point, the `F` on the thermometer no longer stands for Fahrenheit.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor