Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.