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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
Sorry I`m late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.