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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
I don`t try to annoy people; its just a gift.
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
why do i feel like you are reading this
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.