Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.