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Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
DAMN! I`m so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.